The Words of Kabutroid
Alright, I'm pretty sure virtually everyone reading this will already be well familiar with the subject. Unless y'know, you haven't been reading the text under the comics... which I don't blame you, I tend to babble on a lot.
If no... there ya go. If you're still curious, this is a really good page for info on it. The comic covered it pretty good, and the last comic had a good background behind it, about halfway down that text at the bottom. But about the best way I can describe it is as such: For the vast majority of your life, the part of you that you see the most is what you see when you look down, even if only in your peripheral vision. At times, when I look down, I want to see a curvy, womanly figure there, probably wearing pink, painted toenails, all that. Other times, I look down and want to see a guy's figure... no curves, t-shirt, whatever jeans, y'know... "normal" me (because 'normal' even remotely describes me :P). For decades, I've just pushed the feminine side of me to the back, willing it to remain hidden.
And while I've spent a very, very long time hiding it, it finds ways of... escaping. For example, there have been times in the past year or two where I wanted to look like a woman SO badly, that I would put lipstick on and wear an unpadded sports bra under my biking shirt. I figured if I'm whipping by people at a decent speed, nobody is going to see, notice, or if they do, either not remember, or have no idea who I was anyway. And it appeased my girl-mode for a while. Let me kinda 'settle' her back for a little bit, so I could continue keeping it hidden from everyone. In retrospect, I'm sure I looked silly to those who noticed me, but that's probably the default first-impression I give people anyway :P. And then I got too high one day, passed out, and started babbling to Laura. She was all shocked at first, didn't believe me, whatever. But time, understanding, and talking to eachother have a way of working these things out. She's been supportive, my family has been supportive, and generally it's been awesome :)
So... seems like a good opportunity to document this of sorts. It was suggested I keep a blog or diary of this new chapter of my life (well, new in that I can finally explore it more openly, rather than research glimpses of information in my time alone), and hey... Planet Zebeth, that works out well. This section is the story of my life after all, and this seems pretty significant. So where to begin...
The original plan was to just wear my pink nailpolish and wait for people to ask about it or bring it up. That way I could just drop "Oh, I like to paint them sometimes. Genderfluid thing", and let them ask questions or not if they want. Well, that worked for my mother-in-law, who didn't really seem to have any reaction. Not that I expected anything different, but I was hoping more people would bring it up, or a question or two might be asked.
So I went home all semi-depressed, since word basically got nowhere. Then shit went down. Told my sibling-in-laws by messenger, and they took it awesome. Asked questions, batted ideas towards me, things like that. Good chatting all around. And then, since that side of the family knew, I messaged my side of the family all at once with basically a big dollop of information out of the blue. Nothing but supportive replies, so that's awesome too. That 'one sister who asks lots of questions' called and indeed did just that. Didn't really mind, took me a minute or two to kinda break out of my shell and realize "oh wait, I actually CAN answer these questions now. This is no longer a 'hidden' thing." I imagine she'll spread some more of the specifics to the others, so that saves me a lot of time and effort :P
All that said and done, I feel good right now :). Currently dressed approximately as I am in the Kabucam pic to the left (though I need to redo my nails, one of the hearts popped off of one. Kinda want the pearly pink one instead right now, anyway :P)
Aaaaand yeah, that about covers the basics. If for some bizarre reason anyone has any other questions for me, feel free to post 'em in the shoutbox, or message me on Facebook or whatever. I've generally considered my life an open book but for the asking.
Oh yeah, apparently for a lot of people, the pronoun to use is important. Personally I don't really care one way or the other... you could just say 'hey, you', and I'll turn to look :P. I think I'd prefer he/she depending on how I feel, though it's not like I'm gonna get offended regardless. Easy way to tell which to use, too. If I'm wearing a bra, 'she' :P.
So yeah, none of this can be unseen or unheard now, and I imagine it will quickly become an integral part of my life. And I couldn't be happier :)